To: Admiral Christopher Adamek
From: Starfleet Command, Carcity Station
Date: May 22, 1993 • 08:36pm
RE: USS Mooncress
I understand when Captain Badaczewski came aboard the Mooncress earlier today, there was some
excitement. First, Badaczewski is demoted to commander, not lieutenant. Second, as soon as
possible, we will be sending you a Borg Ray. This ray will be placed in your navigational deflector
array. It is capable of destroying Borg ships within 15 seconds of beginning to fire. As of this date, it
has already destroyed 18 Borg ships, including the one that invaded the Oakland Sector earlier today.
As of this time, all possible crewmembers are:
Adamek, Christopher Admiral
Adamek, Victoria Lieutenant
Badaczewski, Matthew Commander
Marcotte, Steven Captain
Xerox Sisters Commanders
If one of your crew is captured by the Borg, the crewmember is not to be considered dead. If you
receive no response from an away team member, you are to attempt to find the person without telling
parents. If you absolutely cannot find the person, say so. Commander Badaczewski was not really lost
during the mission to the Borg cube; he was simply exploring the inner workings of the ship.
However, if you still get no response after beginning a search, immediately tell parents and start a full-
fledged search of the vicinity with all available crewmen looking for the lost crewmember.
You are also to attempt to find laser #3, if you have not already done so. Please try to regulate the
stations aboard your ship. The transporter console was in three different places today. Thank you for
your time.
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The creation of Star Trek: The Final Frontier did not happen over night—nor did it happen over the
span of a few days or even months. In fact, as you have just read, the legend started in May of 1993
with the Borg invasion of the Oakland Sector. My good friend Matthew (who eventually inspired
Commander Matthew Harrison) visited my house, and the saga above unfolded over the course of his
visit. As you might have gathered, this is nothing like The Final Frontier of the present day, but it was
the beginning—and for a bunch of 12-year-olds, that Borg invasion was exciting stuff. (On a side note:
HOLY CRAP, THAT WAS MORE THAN TEN FREAKING YEARS AGO!)
The Starlight did not exist. In fact, our myriad voyages took place on the USS Mooncress, which is
easily the most hideous starship to have ever been conceived. It had a whopping TWO decks, an
outhouse, and instead of life support systems, the Mooncress was equipped with massive oxygen tanks,
which were conveniently affixed to the outside of the hull. There was a bed on the bridge (for when
the Captain felt the need for some action of a different kind, I suppose), and the tactical station was
conveniently located in sickbay.
Now, before I unveil this monstrosity of a starship, I have a confession to make. As of May 22, 1993, I
was not a Trekkie. Whilst the Borg were attacking on that fateful day, I did not know who they were.
I did not know who the Klingons were, and I certainly did not know that Commander Data did not use
contractions. I had seen by a single episode of Star Trek (TNG's "The Naked Now." Not surprisingly, I
had not been impressed). I was far happier playing Nintendo (8-bits of pure power, baby) or
basketball… So, keep that in mind while viewing these “starship” schematics. And try not to laugh
too much.